A Day in the Life of Me...Sam

I used to think it was great being "the best friend". All I have to do is sleep, eat, sleep, stretch and wait for something exciting to happen. It's a pretty quiet life here...not much that goes on, passing these guarded walls. But I'm the first to know if there is any action out there and I'll let you know.

I get the whole car to myself, or at least I've made that call, so there's lots of space for me. The best part is that I have seen a lot of this place--from the country, to the city, to the factory. I try to make new friends at each location but not everyone is as friendly as I am. I often hear shouts of my name wherever I go but I can't tell if that's excitement or anger. Eh, who cares? I can just play stupid and pretend I can't tell the difference.

Every now and then I try to help out around the house, clean up the shoes, take out the trash, vacuum the floor of any excess food and take my own baths in puddles. Hey, I'm just trying to relieve added stress. However, I don't think it's appreciated. No one celebrates these grand achievements. There are no rewards. In fact, just the opposite. The other day, I was greeting some new friends at the house and all of a sudden this white circle came at me, whirring. I couldn't identify this mystery but I dodged that one. I escaped into the hallway but it came after me, spinning and whirring. I crouched down, determined to fight back and cried out. Eventually, it subsided.

See? I'm still the boss here.