Is it love or is it prayer?

Why is it that we sit by the phone, hold our breath, tell our hearts to skip a beat for someone? Or even the idea of someone? You daydream of a time when you'll finally share your life with that special someone and you just can't wait to share everything with them. It's like we're a vault waiting to be opened.

But then if or when the day finally arrives, why do we withhold those very whispers we've held in for so many years, anticipating to share with someone. We finally have a "green light" to share and we go silent. What happens?

The funny thing, as I sit here, I realize it's me. Nothing "happens". Rather, I just now have a option of moving from idealism to reality. But when given the option to share me, well, there's hesitation. Those same fears of rejection creep up, saying, "they don't want to know, it's too much, it's not a good thing...", holding me hostage to my own prison.

But more concerning to me than not sharing in my personal relationships is not sharing myself with someone greater, someone who knows all those whispers, thoughts, ideas that I secretly hold within and that's the ONE I avoid. So are these same fears what keep me from praying? Why would I not pray when Jesus already knows everything about me? When he's made the greatest sacrifice of love for me, why would I fear him? Is it a fear of rejection? That I'm not "enough", that I haven't done "my duty" for the day? That I "sinned too much" today to talk to Him? Today I want that to change. I want to take the risk.

Hebrews 4:16 "Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."